


your comfort, i don't deserve

by sootydreams



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Apologies, Betrayal, Family Dynamics, Flashbacks, Gen, Ghostbur fails to be resurrected, Hurt/Comfort, L'manberg is a crater, Memories, Phone Conversations, Tommy accidentally calls Techno, Tommy misses Techno, Tommy misses Wilbur, Tommy needs a hug, TommyInnit Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, broken relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-12 16:00:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28887984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sootydreams/pseuds/sootydreams
Summary: "I um- have you talked to Ghostbur recently? You know Ghostbur, the ghost of our dead brother…"Is what Tommy tells Technoblade when he stumbles across a horrifying resurrection and panic-calls the man on impulse like he always does, forgetting the fact they betrayed each other not too long ago.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 278





	your comfort, i don't deserve

**Author's Note:**

> I, in devastation over the broken sbi family dynamic, wrote this to let me rest in peace and ended up hurting myself more... Enjoy! :D

He thought it was over.

The memories, the flashbacks, the nightmares that haunted him when he fell asleep. His brother, staggering and screaming above the ruins of his unfinished symphony. His father, sword tight in his grip, ready to strike albeit his tattered wings, spread wide across their frames as if there were still some dangers to protect his son from.

And here they were again, but L’manburg was a little more broken, Phil looked more weary, and his dear brother’s smiles held with them a sweet bliss his past self never had.

Tommy was hiding amid the boulders, paralyzed in confusion and fear, as he watched the events unfold from afar. His friend Ranboo, whom he thought he could trust, and Eret stood in the shadows, only a few paces from the horrendous display of brewing stands, tnt, and buttons—he hated how that was all they thought Wilbur amounted to—and blue, a bittersweet symbol of his new life. He could see Phil stand in front of Ghostbur, just like he did that wretched day, wielding a sword that resembled too closely to the one that took his friend’s life.

Phil advanced and Tommy’s heart leapt to his throat and he wanted to scream for Ghostbur to run away, he wanted to do something but his body had forgotten how to move. And he was so confused because Ghostbur never looked more terrified, but he wasn’t shielding away and instead looked on with the purest trust. And when Phil plunged his sword right through Ghostbur’s heart, right through the scar he received in a past life, and held the man in his arms as he faded away, Tommy had to drop his head down to let it bang against the rock, clenching and unclenching his fists and whispering to himself, convincing himself, that _ghosts can’t die ghosts can’t die ghosts can’t die_. 

He ran.

Deep into the ruins of his lost country, guided by the light from the stars and a hazy moon. He hadn’t returned since that day, and every step made him choke on the memories brought forth. He ran until he couldn’t breathe, until tears dotted his lashes and sobs threatened to rapture from his chest. His heart burned with the pains of an unforgiving past until finally, he slowed down to crash against a scorched wall of a house, blackened from when tnt rained from the sky. 

Tommy’s hands trembled as he fumbled for his phone, shaky fingers gliding across its surface to trace out the familiar path to Technoblade's number on impulse. Not until the call went through after two rings and dead static buzzed from the other side did his mind catch up with his body.

Tommy clamped a palm over his mouth, stifling his whimpers. What the fuck did he just do. His fingers squeezed the cold metal in agony, but made no motion to end the call. Why wasn't Techno saying anything? He couldn't breathe.

“Uhh heyyy Technoblade. Long time no talk, uh,” he let out a shaky breath. “I um- have you talked to Ghostbur recently? You know Ghostbur, the ghost of our dead brother… or Phil? Has he said anything strange lately? Like anything at all. Maybe about swords, or uh, res—“

“If you’re going to call me to blabber on about Ghostbur and Phil I’m hanging up.”

Tommy flinched, shutting his mouth with an embarrassing _clack_.

Techno hadn’t lost that harshness in his voice. The same voice he used when he warned him what siding with Tubbo would mean, when he twisted around to Dream without an ounce of regret, when he pointed a loaded crossbow at his face and sneered.

Tommy bit his knuckles, hard, and didn't stop even if it meant his teeth would leave indents in his skin forever. He deserved this, didn't he? Techno saved him, and he stabbed him in the back with his own sword. And for what? Tubbo was never fully trusting him again. He fucked up a long time ago and he’d been floating under the pretense that everything was fine, that he could just tape together the ashes of his friendships, that everyone would forgive him because he’s Tommy, right? The same Tommy who could do no wrong, the hero of this story. 

The least he deserved were scars.

"Tommy?"

He cursed pitifully, tears streaming down his face and breath catching in little hiccups between sobs. He braced the back of his head against the wall, vision a blurry mess of grays and blues. 

“Fuck, I’m sorry Techno. I’m so fucking sorry. I don’t know what I’m doing these days. I don’t feel like myself. Nothing feels real anymore. It’s just so hard, all the time, and I thought- I don’t know. Everything’s gone to shit and I’ve lost everyone and maybe it really was better back in exile—“

“Don’t say that.”

“Sorry,” he held his breath, flinching at the harsh silence, until Techno sighed and murmured quiet words of reassurance, just like he used to not too long ago. And Tommy pulled the phone closer to his ear, latching onto every syllable as if they were precious stones, his tears glittering his sight so that the light from the screen shone in starbursts of a million rays. 

“What happened?” 

“I saw Phil stab Ghostbur,” and when those words fell from his lips it almost felt like it didn’t happen, or like he was recounting some dream or past memory. “Ghostbur was scared, I- I couldn’t really see Phil’s face.”

“What were you doing?”

“I was hiding, I can’t really remember why. I should’ve done something, fuck why didn’t I do something, Techno?” Tommy wiped his eyes quickly with a sleeve. “I failed him again, just like I did Wilbur. God, Wil, I miss him so fucking much.”

The static buzzed from the other side and Tommy waited, and waited, and he cursed himself for becoming so desperate but languished in the idea of hanging up, until a quiet _I miss him too_ reminded him that they were brothers, that the pain they shared allowed them to understand and empathize and forgive.

And they continued on about happier days, about blue coats and drug vans and silly songs, and to their childhood, stories about Wil and Techno he’d never heard before, and Tommy cried again, but differently this time, for the bittersweet memories warmed his heart and eased the pain, even if it was just for a little while.

**Author's Note:**

> Tysm for reading and I really hoped you enjoyed! I thought it would be fun to explore the aftermath of their betrayals and the effect it had on the both of them. I'm also simply a sucker for Tommy and Techno interactions (I miss pre-Doomsday times so much T-T) so this was the perfect opportunity to crank up the angst :') Anyway as always feedback in comments and kudos are very appreciated!


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